Monday, December 31, 2012

Goodbye 2012. You were a year full of little joys and accomplishments, little steps and little changes. I'm ready for 2013 to be a year of both little and big. I will savor the small while embracing the large.

In a country where  'frankenfish' will soon be on the menu and GMO pork isn't far behind, there is still real food out there if you take the time to look for it and/or make it yourself. I've sourced local grass-fed beef and pastured pork, organic vegetables from my garden or the farmers market, found a local producer of milk and stopped buying anything with additives, preservatives and who knows what else. I'm reading labels and getting educated.

In a country of fiscal cliffs and political parties who can't even hold a civil conversation, I'm taking charge of our finances and our future. Self-reliant is high praise. I'm starting The Compact at midnight tonight because I need the cold shower of no spending. I'm such a consumer-focused person that cold turkey is the only way to retrain myself. The only Joneses to keep up with are in my own mind, but they're real enough to me.

In a world where aggression and recession are the words of the day, bad news feels like it is everywhere and nothing feels safe any more, there are still hot showers on cold mornings, kids who want real, full-body hugs and husbands who will act the clown to make you laugh. I'm going to concentrate on the joys in life, I'm going to 'accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative and don't mess with Mr. In-between'. And I'm going to turn off the TV and put down the smart phone. Nothing on either is more important than what's right in front of me.

I will find joy in the simple and the sublime, I will strive to be better but not perfect and I will hold myself accountable rather than giving myself a pass. I'm worth the effort.

A Happy, Healthy and Joyous New Year to you and yours!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Simple idea to make our life better.

I had an epiphany this morning as I sat at the table and wrote in my journal while J played with play dough (a repeat of yesterday morning). Being at the 'adult' table together made it so much more enjoyable for him and for me, it really opened my eyes to how things are situated at home. At home he has a little art table that's tucked into a corner of the breakfast room. The chair faces the wall. I usually set something up for him and watch for a little bit while he starts the project but I rarely sit with him while he does it. It's just not comfortable and I have a sudden feeling it's not comfortable for him either. I'd never really thought about it until we shared the table here.

I'm going to try something new, when he does art, it's at the breakfast room table with me. I may be doing something else (writing or crafting), but I will be with him. I have a really good feeling about this - and all it's going to take is a simple move.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

This morning we woke to blue skies and the possibility of a warm sunny day.

Rainy yesterday feels like I spent the entire day (minus a break for wine tasting) saying "no", "don't do that", "put that down", "don't stick that in the plug!", etc, etc. Exhausting and not much fun and not at all what I want to remember from a vacation to a place I love. It even flickered across my mind that maybe we shouldn't do this again next year.

Today I decided that I would make the day about J and go where he led. After breakfast we played his first board game and let him make up the rules. He painted and did play dough while I sat at the same table and wrote in my journals. Instead of being irritated for not having a clear, uninterrupted ability to write, I let myself enjoy changing his paints or making imprints in the dough. Then he decided it was time to play outside with the balsa wood airplanes but since he wanted mommy to watch too, I was outside enjoying the warm sun and joining in the laughter of the loop de loops instead of doing dishes. Lunch and then a walk to the pond and barn, stepping in every puddle along the way. I mentioned once that it would make his feet cold and wet and then gave in and just enjoyed his utter delight in splashing around. I don't want him to fear puddles, water or getting dirty and it's all washable. It was so warm when we got back to the cabin that we stripped off his soaking clothes and let him enjoy the sunshine nekkid. A pure, joyful morning with only a few of the 'almost three' crying fits.

Now that it's nap time, I have that time to myself that I crave. I will confess that I'm hoping for a long nap. The peace and quiet is awfully nice.

We have plans for more board games and puzzles after nap....

So I read these French parenting books and they all are very focused on how the parents do not cater to the children, the children do their own thing and behave themselves wonderfully leaving their parents alone, etc. I have no idea how they do it. Not all of it is for me, but J is my complete focus and doesn't seem happy unless he has my complete attention at most if not all times. There has to be a balance and I'm trying to find it. Though today has been really fun :)

Update: J slept for 3 hours! :)

Friday, December 28, 2012

Project # 1

J discovered Frosty the Snowman this year - I think these will be favorites for years to come :)

Ahhhhhh yes!

Go me!

Just went into a toy store and didn't buy anything! D came out with two balsa wood airplanes but I kept my hands in my pockets even though there was a Green Toys airplane I had been eyeing for J. Go me!!

Me Time

'Me time'. It sounds so trite, so simple, such a marketing term along the lines of 'Calgon Take Me Away'. For those who remember that ad. I think my age is showing.

It used to not be important. It felt like most of the time was 'me time' and it was so easy. Then motherhood happened and suddenly I get it. Really get it. I can't think of the last thing I did for myself. Not by myself but for myself. I start feeling thin "like butter scraped over too much bread" (thanks Bilbo). D takes J out on weekend morning for 'adventures' and I end up cleaning the house, doing laundry or dishes. D suggests I take a bath to relax and if it does actually end up happening it becomes a group event as J insists on joining me. I know this sounds like I don't adore or appreciate my family but I do, I so do. I know how lucky I am to have such charming, sweet and loving men in my life. It's just sometimes I want to feel relaxed and renewed as me and I don't want to wait till J goes to college for it to happen.

So I am working on finding little pockets of personal time here and there. Little things for me to do that make me feel excited and connected. I ordered a couple of easy felting kits to dip my toes back into sewing. I have two lovely needlepoints that I want to work on. Doing them used to frustrate me to no end as J would end up practically in my lap watching the needle dip in and out. Then I had the simple realization that as he watches me do these things, he's learning to do them himself. And of course he wants to know what I am doing and of course he finds sewing and creating fascinating, it's magical to a child. Don't I want him to? Of course I do.

So mommy is going to take a deep breath and pull out the needlepoint and sewing. I'm going to show and teach him as I do them. It will take longer and I'm sure there will be mistakes but it's going to be worth it in the long run.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

I had exactly what I wanted to say perfectly set in  my mind late last night and now I can't remember how it was worded. Sigh.

I'm pretty sure it was along the lines of how I know how lucky I am to be deciding between buying organic foods and saving and toys for my kid or clothes for me. These are privileged choices to be making. First world, doing ok, fully employed decisions. They are luxurious decisions but they are decisions that will affect my life and my family and they're things that need to be done.

I can only write about what I know and what I know is this - my life needs to change. I'm pretty darn close (if not already at) middle age and I'm not going to spend the next half of my life sitting on the couch, eating fake food, not moving my body and online shopping with nothing to show for myself at the end of the year. I don't want this life for myself and I don't want it for my son and husband. It's time to start saying "I can" and "YES!" a lot more. In the words of the immortal Mr. Money Mustache I need a face punch and I'm giving myself one. I really hope that I'm still writing in a years time and that my list of marvelous things to have happened and accomplishments made is pages long.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Some dietary changes we have recently made:

1) Started buying whole milk from a small herd of Jersey cows. It comes in glass bottles and has a layer of lovely cream on the top - we were people who drank only skim milk. link

2) I already made our breads (whole wheat and sourdough) and seed crackers but I started making cheese crackers for J too (to replace cheese sandwich crackers from Trader Joes). cheese crackers

3) Started buying full-fat yogurt. We love the Fage Greek yogurt, I'm received a yogurt maker for Christmas and will have fun experimenting with trying to replicate the Fage. By making our yogurt, I'll know exactly the quality of milk being used. I love that idea.

4) Started eating a LOT more butter and without guilt. I've been doing a lot of reading about how the fats that we have been told are bad for us, are actually good and the ones 'they' said were good are actually horrible. Go figure, the real ones certainly taste better.

5) I need to look into the cheeses we eat. I've read how raw cheese is good for you, but the ones I've found are crazy expensive. We go through a lot of cheese in this family and I want to be sure what we're eating is good for us.

6) I've started serving a cheese course after dinner. In part because we LOVE cheese and in part because I want J to have the pleasure of learning about new cheeses. I'm going to pick up new ones each week or so and we will all enjoy the new tradition of a cheese course. French Foodie Baby served as a pretty strong inspiration for this.

7) Cut down our sugar consumption in a very large way. In fact the only candy/sweets in the house are some organic lollipops I bought ages ago for my toddler. I'm the type of person who won't stop eating if it's in the house so the best thing is to go cold turkey. I have maple sugar for baking and will buy chocolate without soy lethicin when I need to bake something (I rarely need to make a dessert).

8) Buying only locally raised grass-fed beef and pastured pork. The beef is actually cheaper than anything from Trader Joes or Whole Foods but the pork is quite a bit more. The flavor however is incomparable. We are looking into splitting half a pig with family. That way it becomes much more reasonable. Beef Pork

9) Stopped buying almost anything with fake ingredients in it and started making my own versions of snacks, etc. Still looking for a kids cliff bars substitute.

10) Became very aware of the oils we use as well as the oils in the items we buy. This blog has been very helpful in choosing oils oils

11) We are eating a lot more saturated fats. Instead of thinking they're evil, a lot of things I've been reading from people I trust leads me to believe that we're being fed a load of bunk Homemade Mommy
The very last post of Life Changes I want to make and then I start living them.

I lay in bed the other night and tried to come up with a Top Ten for 2010. I used to have no trouble doing so, in fact it was difficult choosing the Top Ten. Often we ended up with many more. I came up with maybe five this year. Five out of twelve whole months to make amazing, or even just fun, things happen. Those five things felt really lame too.

I'm not talking the incredible international trips we used to take (at least not until J is older) but we can still DO things, go places, make our own adventures, fun and memories. The best fun we have is being together as a family, all of us being present for and with each other (getting out of the house helps). These are things I want J to grow up with too - not the memory of being surrounded by toys and parents who don't pay attention.

2012 feels like a year of...not survival really but definitely just living. Part of that is because we have a toddler and part is because making an effort felt like too much effort. It's also because the news out there isn't pretty and hasn't been pretty and a lot of what's going on just makes you want to pull the covers over your head. That's no way to live however. I guess in many ways I have been substituting my desire to feel like I'm living with shopping. The rush of expecting a package has taken the place of making plans to go places, do things and have adventures. Well that all changes this New Year.

Ok so I've listed out some pretty serious life changes for this upcoming year. At the end of 2013, I'd like them to just be part of me, so ingrained that I can't even remember what my life was like before. And I really want a healthy savings account, so many wonderful memories that they can't fit in my memory jar (link), and to have lived a wholesome life. I think I can do it.
One more thing to work on in the New Year. Turning off the TV. I use it too often as my relaxation. I have it on when no one is watching. It plays in the background as I'm on the computer or J is playing. It's a crutch for when I want to do something and I want J to stay quietly in one place. We sit in front of it to eat and we turn it on after dinner. What we watch is mostly sports but we're watching sports we don't care about. Hello - the Little Caesars Bowl is on right now featuring two teams I have never  heard of. The EPL was on this morning and I only cared about one match of the three and I could have turned it off after Liverpool went down.

I need to just turn it off and go LIVE my life. I have things I want to do, books I want to read, crafts I want to learn, needlepoint to finish, a life to live. How much of my day is spent with the TV on? I'm sure I would be appalled to know.

Along those lines, I need to put down my damn phone. I feel like the stupid thing is attached to my hand and I'm constantly checking it for email and Facebook. This made sense when I was among the employed and had to but I'm pretty sure nothing will explode if I don't respond to an email or a Facebook post.

Also and this is big, really big. My kiddo will be in school very soon. Too soon. I spend my days in front of the computer or looking at my phone and I'm with him but not engaged. He plays with his toys, and it's great that he occupies himself so well but I'm just there. I'm not playing with him, or teaching him or encouraging him. In a few short years he will be in Kindergarten and gone most of the day. I need to make the most of this time while I have it.
Ah, The Compact and the knowledge that next year I will not be allowing myself to this past month I have gone INSANE with the shopping. I can literally justify everything I have purchased because they were all for home and Jacob as well as clothes for me to help me with my goal of feeling chic. With the knowledge that I won't be buying next year I said to myself "well I should get them now because I need them and won't be able to later". See. I have a problem. A big one. I need a personal detox, a cold bath, a wake up call and 2013 is going to be it for me. By putting this change out there for the world (hi world!) to read, I'm hoping that I stick with it. The shame of falling off the wagon and having to chronicle it should be enough of an incentive, I hope.

I do want to mention that none of this has involved debt in any way. We have been debt-free (excepting the mortgage) for years now. I have zero desire to go back to juggling balances and zero-percent cards and I'm pretty sure D would explode like a firework if we were ever in that situation again. The shopping has, however, not allowed for much (or any) growth in savings and that's not good. I'm too old to be living paycheck to paycheck.

Plus, if we're going to be eating all this lovely organic foods and grass-fed beef and pastured pork it is more expensive (well the grass fed beef is actually cheaper than Whole Foods and Trader Joes because we go directly to the source). I need to make up the difference in our grocery bill somewhere. Not going to Amazon and finding the niftiest, most educational toy or the coolest way to store my spoons will definitely help. Also fighting the desire to buy something new when I feel like a schlub.

The one caveat I'm going to put in place (see - already a caveat) is books and art supplies for J. Those I don't consider luxuries or wants.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

The UPS man is going to miss coming to my house and Amazon will probably start wondering where I am. I am starting The Compact in the New Year. The Compact, for those who haven't heard of it, is a pact to buy only necessities, no wants, no luxuries, just the basic things you need to get by. If you are going to buy something beyond basic necessities, it should be used.

The Compact is many things to many people and I'm going to be using it as a spending fast. No clothes, no toys for J or myself, nothing extraneous beyond what we need for the house. I have a large problem with will power in that I pretty much don't have any and can rationalize any purchase that I make. I need to go completely cold turkey on my shopping and Amazon perusing.

I am hoping that by learning to live with what I have (which is more than enough) and by cutting myself off completely from spending on J (who has more toys than most preschools), I can bring my focus back to what is really important which is time spent with family and especially J. I don't want him growing up thinking his mom shows love through packages that come to the house. Or that he gets a toy every time he behaves at Target. I really want him to grow up knowing he has enough, more than enough, and to be thankful for what he does have and not always asking for more. He doesn't yet but that day will come if we keep down this road. Lest you think he will be doing without, I have toys for him that I have bought over the past year that have been stored away. Some I even forgot about. The child has enough. I have enough. All we need is each other, all he wants is me to play with him.

So my version of The Compact will be this: nothing new, no clothes, no toys, nothing that is not needed for the home (and by home, I mean necessities, nothing extraneous). I will buy new toys for relatives and friend's birthdays but they will be well-made toys not made in China. D is not a part of this (he doesn't need it) so he can pick J up the occasional goody if he wants - I'm pretty sure he will be thrilled to take over this part of parenting.

This is by far going to be one of the most difficult tasks I have set myself and I'm hoping I can achieve it.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

I usually use the sponges from Trader Joes and a Dobie pad for cleaning dishes. They've been working great but the Dobie pads obviously aren't compostable (I think the Trader Joe sponges are - we just started trying to compost them). I really don't like throwing out the sponges every week but never felt comfortable with putting them in the dishwasher to clean since I worried about them breaking down and releasing toxins.

I ordered and just received the 3M Scotch-Bright Greener Clean Sponges and Scour Pad. The sponge states that it's compostable and the scour pad made from fibers of the agave plant and I assume it's compostable as well. Interested to try them. I hope I like them because that's one less thing heading towards a landfill if I do!

 Scotch-Brite Greener Clean Absorbent Sponges

Today I'm making beef bone broth. I've been reading how bone broths give us all sorts of lovely nutrients and while I'm sure this is true, we just love drinking a warm mug of broth. It's...wholesome and nourishing feeling. It's delicious and satisfies us.

I get soup and marrow bones from the ranch I get our grass-fed beef from and it makes an amazing broth.
Making broth is super simple and it's so much better than anything out of a box or can. I love being able to go out to the freezer and pull out a container of broth to use in a recipe.

I use all organic ingredients because that's important to me.

Beef marrow and soup bones (this last bag had about 2.5 lbs in it)
An onion, peeled and quartered
A few carrots, halved
A bunch of celery, quartered
A bunch of parsley
Bay leaf
Peelings from organic potatoes (I can't feed these to the hens so I freeze them until I'm going to make soup)
Tablespoon apple cider vinegar (this apparently helps nutrients leach out of the bones, I have no proof but figure it doesn't hurt)

Throw it all in a stock pot and fill with cold water, bring to a boil, cover, lower heat and simmer for 48 hours. Strain it to get all the stuff out. I do two strainings, one through a colander and one through a chinois. Taste the broth to see if it needs further reducing or salt. Don't add too much salt if you're reducing it since that will concentrate the salt too much. I store my broths in Reditainer freezer containers.

Next on my list is to eat healthful, nourishing foods and to work continuously and with determination on increasing the healthy factor. Continue to be aware and conscious of the food choices I make for myself and my family.

I've been doing a lot of reading and talking to people within the past month and it seems to me, and feels right, to move towards eating real food. The types of foods you make yourself and that don't have any additives, preservatives or ingredients you can't pronounce or or that you have to ask your scientist husband what they are. It just feels fundamentally right that foods like these would nourish our bodies and feed our souls better than something out of cardboard that has nothing that is actual food in it.

Part of my cleaning out/detoxing the kitchen this month was getting rid of all the foods that had things in them I could not duplicate myself. This left my cabinets pretty bare. Not Mother Hubbard bare, but bare nonetheless. Looking for something to sack on yesterday, I found...not much. Which actually was ok because I was bored snacking, not hungry snacking. At the time, I couldn't find anything. Today I think, I could have had fruit, yogurt, crackers and cheese, a glass of milk, some broth, a multitude of things, but yesterday my brain was still looking for something out of a box that was quick and easy. This is going to take some time. I'm glad I just got rid of everything, it's too easy for me to fall back into old habits.

My kiddo hasn't asked for any of the things I've gotten rid of and happily snacks on fresh and dried fruits, nuts and my homemade cheese crackers. I feel lucky that I made this switch sooner rather than later so he will grow up only remembering real food out of mom's kitchen.

I have a lot to work to do here, I've taken the first steps. I believe some of what I read about the benefits of certain things and I take the rest with a very large grain of salt. I've seen the benefits of some things (drinking kefir daily) but I don't believe it's the end all be all. I'm exploring.

Friday, December 21, 2012

I want to create a healthy home environment for my family.

This entailed some rather large physical changes in our home but especially the kitchen. I started doing some online research and reading and realized that I had taken quite a bit for granted. I had no idea just how much in our pantry, freezer and refrigerator were GMO, fake, additives, fillers and things I can't pronounce. I had taken it for granted that food from Trader Joes was healthy. I never thought about dyes and colorings and I never thought about putting acidic things into plastic. And I hadn't been reading labels beyond the calories and sugar content.

Within the past couple of weeks I have:

1) Gotten rid of almost all our non-stick cookware (the last piece is my large slow cooker that I love, I'm having a hard time letting go of that and making all sorts of rationalizations about keeping it). I replaced the non-stick with cast iron and stainless steel.
2) Gotten rid of all my anodized aluminum cookware (this is a gut feeling for me, I don't want to cook in aluminum, especially acidic things like tomato sauce).
3) Given away the pork sausages and bacon from Trader Joes - they won't say where their meat is from or if it's confined pork or full of hormones and antibiotics - I'm not going to just assume that it's ok for us to eat.
4) Restocked our freezer with local grass-fed beef and local pastured pork. I did research into the pork available at Whole Foods and feel comfortable with the pork they offer at their butcher counter for when I can't get down to Pescadero for the other.
5) Switched my laying hens to organic feed - if we're going to eat organic, so are my hens since we eat the eggs.
6) Resolved to buy only organic produce. I know there's the 'Dirty Dozen' and that's a great place to start but I don't trust pesticides, herbicides and fertilizers on anything. I'd rather pay more, eat organic and have some kind of faith that we're not ingesting poisons.
7) Bought glass jars and containers for storing my pantry items and repurposed canning jars. No more plastic for us.
8) Replaced our plastic water bottles and sippy cups with glass ones. This was a big leap of faith for me in hoping my kiddo wouldn't break the glass but he's been fantastic with everything.
9) Replaced plastic wrap with beeswax canvas. It's reusable and has been great so far for covering bread rising bowls.
10) Replaced old plastic rubbermaid containers with glass storage containers.
11) Removed almost everything in the pantry that was GMO or had words I couldn't pronounce and replaced with organic, non-GMO versions.
12) Replaced non-organic staples with organic versions (pastas, rolled oats, steel cut oats, wheat germ, polenta, semolina, corn meal, flours).
13) Started doing research into the oils we use for cooking and have switched to coconut oil, ghee, olive (for some things), butter and I'm going to try macadamia nut oil for frying. There's always beef tallow too but...that's a work in progress.
14) Removed all ziploc bags from the kitchen drawers (I kept them for emergencies), started using waxed paper and parchment paper. I also bought freezer Reditainers for freezing leftovers and stocks, they're plastic but better than ziploc.
15) Swapped out my plastic oxo measuring cups for glass Pyrex ones.
16) Bought maple sugar to use instead of regular sugar in recipes.
17) Replaced my son's art supplies with eco-friendly versions. This took some looking and shopping and figuring out to accomplish but I'm pleased with the results and what I found.
18) Replaced our household cleaners with eco-friendly versions.
19) Replaced our soy-based candles with beeswax candles - oh how sweet our home smells now!
20) Resolved to not bring any new plastic items into the house, this includes toys for my son.

It's been a very busy couple of weeks and I look at that list and I feel pretty good and accomplished. I was happy to rehome all of these items and very happy that I could buy the new foods and goods. I am, rather obviously, not someone who does things gradually. When my mind is made up, I like to just do something. This isn't all I have resolved to do with regards to food and eating, but those will be another blog post I think. There are trains to be played with and a fire to be enjoyed. :)

I need to keep exercising. I walk on the treadmill, and I need to/want to introduce Pilates for core strength.

According to my doctor, lifting a 35 lb toddler isn't enough of a weight/core work out in fact, I need to do core strengthening so I can continue to lift my kiddo. My doctor told me these things back in May and I immediately purchased some Pilates dvds from Amazon. Ask me if they've ever been opened. Go on ask me. Uh huh. They sit there next to the dvd player gathering the proverbial dust.

I've been averaging 2 days a week walking on the treadmill and zero days a week doing Pilates. This has to change. I'm no longer a Spring chicken (in fact I'm a late Summer chicken) and I'd really like to be around both mentally and physically as my son grows up. I've seen how lack of movement can be damaging to older people and it's about time I do something about it before, in the blink of an eye, that's me.
And so it begins. I'm going in the order I wrote in my journal - this is in no way a list of importance.

I would like to create a 'capsule wardrobe'.

This is a term and an idea I first discovered while reading 'Lessons From Madame Chic' by Jennifer Scott (she also has a blog It was a book that was recommended when I bought 'Bringing Up Bebe' and I figured "why not?" and added it to my cart.

At first the idea of having an extremely limited wardrobe was...well it seemed impossible. My closet isn't overflowing and I think I have always been pretty good at getting rid of things that looked worn, didn't suit or that didn't flatter so I didn't really see the benefit. Until I sat in the closet for 30 minutes trying to put together an outfit for a party which I thought looked good until I saw the pictures from the party and...ugh. How much nicer it would have been to just have something I KNEW looked good on me and that I could have slipped on quickly and easily.

This didn't lead me to exactly gut my wardrobe but I did clear out items that I was on the fence about and I'm paring down more weekly. I know I won't get myself down to 10 items but I can probably do 15-20 things that really flatter me. I don't want anything in my closet that doesn't make me feel...good.

I'm a stay at home mom so my days are pretty much playdates, errands and hanging out at home. I'm not going to be wearing silk shirts and pant suits - those days are over for me - but I'm also not going to dress like a schlub. I want casual clothes, ones that fit, that flatter and that make me feel pretty when I put them on. I want to look like I made an effort even if that effort was effortless. There is a lot to be said for looking good - I think it's a sign of respect for yourself and those around you. So that's a goal for this upcoming year - get this so ingrained into me that the idea of throwing on an old t-shirt and sweat pants never even occurs to me. In fact I won't even own an old t-shirt and sweatpants.

Confession time - there a couple of clothing companies that I love, Boden and Indigenous Designs  (Indigenous in particular is wonderful because they're an organic, fair-trade company). While I don't always get the perfect fit, their clothes are pretty and tend to look good on me. They're also not so fancy that I worry about wearing them every day. So, um, knowing that a part of my goals for next year includes The Compact and only buying necessities (which does NOT include new clothes from my favorite companies) I bought clothes from both companies before the end of the year. I used a severely critical eye as to whether or not they will fulfill my desire to only wear flattering clothes and I am pretty sure I succeeded. At least I hope I did. I could have made do with what I had in my closet but...things I had thought looked good on me suddenly just felt meh. I should have been buying quality instead of quantity all these years.

This is, admittedly, a rather simple goal but it's one that will reduce stress and unhappiness in my life and so it's something that I definitely need to work on.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

In the beginning there was me and a list of life changes I would like to make in the New Year. I hate the term 'resolutions' because it seems so easy to throw away. Making a resolution is no longer resolute. I want to make changes, serious changes and I want to stick with them.
I write things in my journal but that's private and the only one to hold me to my goals has been me. It hasn't worked so great.
So here I am with a pretty large list of things about myself and my life that I would like to alter or change and I need some sense of...not responsibility necessarily and not repercussions because there really aren't any...I guess I need the feeling of my private wishes being out there for public viewing and I'm hoping that will hold me to them. It's so easy for me to fall back into old habits. I don't have a huge amount of willpower when it comes to tasks that are difficult or changes that aren't necessarily fun.
So this blog will be all about the journey I'm taking to try and become more centered and grounded while also expanding my abilities and possibilities. Ta Da.