Last day of vacation. Tomorrow I head home and put into practice all the ideas and changes I have been formulating over the past weeks. Now we see how well they (and I) hold up in our daily lives. Some, like eating real food, will be easy. Others, like not spending any extraneous money, won't be.

I have blogs and people to inspire me. A three foot munchkin to keep me motivated. A husband who wholeheartedly supports me and the true desire to make changes that will be fundamental to how the next part of my life unrolls.

On a completely separate note, a post on the Mr. Money Mustache forum led to a response that has had me thinking. I asked who else was doing The Compact in 2013 and one respondent said that she/he found the movement 'elitist'. My immediate reaction was of wonder, 'how could a movement to stop consuming be elitist?'. Then, as per usual with me, I pondered and mulled the thought over the next day or so and they're right. The Compact movement can definitely be an elitist movement. If you have so much that you're able or willing to stop buying anything new, not out of necessity, but because it makes you feel better as a person, you want to boost your savings, to help the Earth, or, as in my case, because I need to get control of a bad habit, you're already part of an elite group. If you wave the banner and preach down to everyone about how you're NON-CONSUMING and try to make them feel guilty for what they are buying, then you my friend, are an ass. I certainly hope I never do that and if I do, my friends have the perfect right to give me a swift kick to the keister and I'm sure they will.

I'm doing The Compact for me and for my family, because I have a feeding frenzy shopping habit that, while it hasn't led to debt in many years, it is definitely putting a strain on our ability to save money for our futures or to make those 'life experiences' happen that I so desperately want.

Ah, The Compact and the knowledge that next year I will not be allowing myself to purchase...so this past month I have gone INSANE with the shopping. I can literally justify everything I have purchased because they were all for home and Jacob as well as clothes for me to help me with my goal of feeling chic. With the knowledge that I won't be buying next year I said to myself "well I should get them now because I need them and won't be able to later". See. I have a problem. A big one. I need a personal detox, a cold bath, a wake up call and 2013 is going to be it for me. By putting this change out there for the world (hi world!) to read, I'm hoping that I stick with it. The shame of falling off the wagon and having to chronicle it should be enough of an incentive, I hope.

I do want to mention that none of this has involved debt in any way. We have been debt-free (excepting the mortgage) for years now. I have zero desire to go back to juggling balances and zero-percent cards and I'm pretty sure D would explode like a firework if we were ever in that situation again. The shopping has, however, not allowed for much (or any) growth in savings and that's not good. I'm too old to be living paycheck to paycheck.

Plus, if we're going to be eating all this lovely organic foods and grass-fed beef and pastured pork it is more expensive (well the grass fed beef is actually cheaper than Whole Foods and Trader Joes because we go directly to the source). I need to make up the difference in our grocery bill somewhere. Not going to Amazon and finding the niftiest, most educational toy or the coolest way to store my spoons will definitely help. Also fighting the desire to buy something new when I feel like a schlub.

The one caveat I'm going to put in place (see - already a caveat) is books and art supplies for J. Those I don't consider luxuries or wants.

The UPS man is going to miss coming to my house and Amazon will probably start wondering where I am. I am starting The Compact in the New Year. The Compact, for those who haven't heard of it, is a pact to buy only necessities, no wants, no luxuries, just the basic things you need to get by. If you are going to buy something beyond basic necessities, it should be used.

The Compact is many things to many people and I'm going to be using it as a spending fast. No clothes, no toys for J or myself, nothing extraneous beyond what we need for the house. I have a large problem with will power in that I pretty much don't have any and can rationalize any purchase that I make. I need to go completely cold turkey on my shopping and Amazon perusing.

I am hoping that by learning to live with what I have (which is more than enough) and by cutting myself off completely from spending on J (who has more toys than most preschools), I can bring my focus back to what is really important which is time spent with family and especially J. I don't want him growing up thinking his mom shows love through packages that come to the house. Or that he gets a toy every time he behaves at Target. I really want him to grow up knowing he has enough, more than enough, and to be thankful for what he does have and not always asking for more. He doesn't yet but that day will come if we keep down this road. Lest you think he will be doing without, I have toys for him that I have bought over the past year that have been stored away. Some I even forgot about. The child has enough. I have enough. All we need is each other, all he wants is me to play with him.

So my version of The Compact will be this: nothing new, no clothes, no toys, nothing that is not needed for the home (and by home, I mean necessities, nothing extraneous). I will buy new toys for relatives and friend's birthdays but they will be well-made toys not made in China. D is not a part of this (he doesn't need it) so he can pick J up the occasional goody if he wants - I'm pretty sure he will be thrilled to take over this part of parenting.

This is by far going to be one of the most difficult tasks I have set myself and I'm hoping I can achieve it.