Turning off technology

This weekend my phone is off. It's a baby step since I'm obviously sitting at my computer writing this post. But the phone is off. No checking emails or facebook constantly. Actually no facebook at all this weekend. It will have to live without me. I won't constantly be posting pictures of the adventures we're going to have or updating my status or read all the posts and articles. Instead I will be living my life and actually paying attention to what's going on around me. At least that's the theory. I plan to do these weekends this whole month. Maybe longer. If you need me, call my home.

One hour of television

I instituted a new rule with J last week. One hour of television a day which is breaking down to 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes after nap. I have come to realize that I was using the TV as a babysitter, something I swore I'd never do. So actually this rule is as much for me as it is J. I need to get some stuff done? Throw on a Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood (J's current favorite). I need to cook? There's cartoons on PBS. It is much too easy for me and it is a huge crutch. I know this is a problem, I know this isn't me at my best and J needs his mom not a flat screen full of animated characters.

It's interesting, I was a very strict 'no tv' mom until J hit about 2.5. Everything changed when he became much more interested in what I was doing and wanted to be right next to me the whole time I was trying to do something (like scrub the bathtub). So I popped on PBS and hoped he would watch. And he did. Happily. Then he started asking me for shows. Then I started turning on the TV first thing in the morning and not turning it off for a few hours. This allowed me to get a lot done (or to sit in front of the computer) but whoa. Wow. This is NOT the life I want for my kiddo. I want him playing, enjoying imagination and creation that he does himself not that he watches someone else do.

So an hour. And it's been easy. Really easy. I turned off the TV and created an art cabinet for him. I say "yes" when he wants to do something messy like paint. I sit with him at the table and do my cards while he does play dough. I cook and his step stool is right next to me watching and helping. I do things slower than I would if it was just me, but isn't that kind of the point? I'm teaching and he's learning in the simple act of making dinner. And we're together not just watching a cartoon family on TV. There was an episode on Neighborhood that he was watching the other day (part of his hour) and in it the father tiger was taking a walk with Daniel and telling him how and why he was special. J shouldn't be just watching that happen to someone else on a TV screen - he should be hearing it from me. All the time. Turning off the TV has, not forced because that's too strong a word, it's encouraged us to be together more and I'm loving that.

I have a weakness

I have a weakness. Legos. And trains. And J. I have three weaknesses: Legos, trains and J. J is the big one though. Went to Target today to get gifts for some kids and a few other things. Did great buying just what was on my list until we hit the Lego aisle and there was a Duplo set. That was a train. And J's eyes lit up and asked "can it go home with us?". I did pause, I really, really did. I almost put it back up on the shelf, reminding myself of The Compact and how J has some duplo already (which he LOVES) and then those eyes looked at me and I saw the train has blocks with NUMBERS on them (he's learning his numbers) and I gave up even trying to pretend that I wasn't going to get it for him. Using a 5% off coupon and a gift card. This Mama is weak but the boy is happy.

I wasn't going to work out today, we had errands to run and my legs are suspiciously sore from Pilates yesterday. I was putting things away in J's play room and he asked "potties mommy?" pointing at the cabinet where I keep bins of Plan Toys for him. Thinking he was talking about a toy/game and that I just didn't catch the name, I opened the cabinet. He pointed at the TV, "potties mommy?". My boy was telling me to do Pilates! So I did. I finished up the dvd I started yesterday and discovered that I gave up with only one exercise to go. Isn't that always the way? So feeling more robust, I walked for 35 minutes. That kid got me moving this morning! And he was sad when there weren't any other 'Potties' to do. I think he likes seeing his mommy on the ground not looking AT ALL like the lovely, lithe lady on the TV. The noises are pretty funny too.

It's been a pretty nice, sunny day today, no coat needed, so we played outside for a little bit and I rearranged some stuff in the yard and tossed/recycled some junk - feels pretty good to streamline things. I don't like random stuff just being there but sometimes I get too lazy to take care of it. Speaking of recycling, (nice segue, right?) if they really want us to be diligent about recycling they should pick it up EVERY week rather than every OTHER week. That really annoys me. My recycling bin is always full after a week.

Dinner tonight is Stuffed Potato Soup. I'm super excited to make this recipe up. I'm putting bacon and yukon gold potatoes in it. Two of my very favorite things. Even J paused in his saying "I don't like potato soup" to say "I like potato soup". Now if he eats some I will be victorious! "I don't like_____" is the phase du jour unfortunately. He did love the pretzels I made yesterday.

No games on TV tonight, nothing urgent to watch, my plan is to keep it off all night and play board games or do puzzles. Or to do art or crafting. Something, anything, other than the siren song of the TV. We have more get well cards to make today, both Grandpa's have had or are having surgery. Maybe we should start a side business, get well cards by J featuring loads of cotton balls and buttons. Any takers?

My first day back into, not reality since vacation is, of course, reality too, but into the swing of things? The groove? Whatever, I'm back. Trying to follow the new schedule of Mondays being our baking/errand running day, walking on the treadmill, trying Pilates, not looking like something the cat dragged in, cooking real food meals, not relying on the TV or computer games to entertain J, crafting something, Me Time, doing some art with J, my god. That's a lot for one day to handle not to mention me.

I did get up on the treadmill for my 30 minutes of walking up a sweat, I did try Pilates and made it though a good portion of the dvd before I gave in to hunger pains and turned it off. Plus trying to do a dvd in my son's play room was...interesting. Between the toys on the floor, the cat and kid who both wanted to cuddle me and not being able to hear the instructions because J was talking to me, I think I did ok. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed turning it off even more. I'll try to finish it up tomorrow and see how long this dvd actually is. I know that my core is weak and this is definitely going to help that. Felt pretty good just putting it in the dvd player actually - something I haven't managed to do for the past 6 months!

I trimmed J's hair today. I've been trimming his hair and the Pippins. J's doesn't save much money (Pips saves $75!) but he hates going to the hairdresser and ducks and dodges so I actually end up giving him a more even cut than she does. I guess I'm getting better? This cut is definitely less of a monk look. My little elf looks adorable no matter what his hair looks like. :) Besides I love cutting hair, D used to (used to) let me cut his hair back in the days when he could wear a baseball cap to work.

I spent the weekend in some truly nasty old sweats and old t-shirts I have. I didn't put on mascara and I didn't even put gel in my hair yesterday. As a result I didn't FaceTime with my brother when he asked knowing that I wouldn't want anyone to see me this way (sorry Drew). Silly? Quite probably.
Would my brother care or notice? Probably not. I cared. Not enough to go put mascara on but I definitely felt less than great. I should probably just donate those sweats, they're a crutch. Ok I'm doing it. Consider them gone! They're the last vestige of not making an effort to look decent.

Today I've baked pretzels, whole wheat bread and made pizza dough for dinner tonight. Pizza will be topped with homemade tomato sauce, provolone, free range pork sausage, and chard from our garden. Eating well and eating real isn't going to be much of a challenge. I love good food. It's skipping the snacks and eating well while out that's going to be hard.

Haven't done art with J yet, but we will as soon as he wakes up from nap. I think we will make a get well card for a friend of his who is in the hospital. I gave away the little table and chairs that we had previously used as his art table - the only place to do art now is at the breakfast room table. I do better without a fall back.

Haven't bought anything today, besides pizza for my friend who is with her daughter in the hospital and that doesn't count. So far my monthly 'Not in The Compact' tally is towels and a puzzle for J. Tomorrow we are running all our errands and I'm going to Target and Michaels. This should be interesting. Fingers crossed I stay strong.

This morning we woke to blue skies and the possibility of a warm sunny day.

Rainy yesterday feels like I spent the entire day (minus a break for wine tasting) saying "no", "don't do that", "put that down", "don't stick that in the plug!", etc, etc. Exhausting and not much fun and not at all what I want to remember from a vacation to a place I love. It even flickered across my mind that maybe we shouldn't do this again next year.

Today I decided that I would make the day about J and go where he led. After breakfast we played his first board game and let him make up the rules. He painted and did play dough while I sat at the same table and wrote in my journals. Instead of being irritated for not having a clear, uninterrupted ability to write, I let myself enjoy changing his paints or making imprints in the dough. Then he decided it was time to play outside with the balsa wood airplanes but since he wanted mommy to watch too, I was outside enjoying the warm sun and joining in the laughter of the loop de loops instead of doing dishes. Lunch and then a walk to the pond and barn, stepping in every puddle along the way. I mentioned once that it would make his feet cold and wet and then gave in and just enjoyed his utter delight in splashing around. I don't want him to fear puddles, water or getting dirty and it's all washable. It was so warm when we got back to the cabin that we stripped off his soaking clothes and let him enjoy the sunshine nekkid. A pure, joyful morning with only a few of the 'almost three' crying fits.

Now that it's nap time, I have that time to myself that I crave. I will confess that I'm hoping for a long nap. The peace and quiet is awfully nice.

We have plans for more board games and puzzles after nap....

So I read these French parenting books and they all are very focused on how the parents do not cater to the children, the children do their own thing and behave themselves wonderfully leaving their parents alone, etc. I have no idea how they do it. Not all of it is for me, but J is my complete focus and doesn't seem happy unless he has my complete attention at most if not all times. There has to be a balance and I'm trying to find it. Though today has been really fun :)

Update: J slept for 3 hours! :)

One more thing to work on in the New Year. Turning off the TV. I use it too often as my relaxation. I have it on when no one is watching. It plays in the background as I'm on the computer or J is playing. It's a crutch for when I want to do something and I want J to stay quietly in one place. We sit in front of it to eat and we turn it on after dinner. What we watch is mostly sports but we're watching sports we don't care about. Hello - the Little Caesars Bowl is on right now featuring two teams I have never  heard of. The EPL was on this morning and I only cared about one match of the three and I could have turned it off after Liverpool went down.

I need to just turn it off and go LIVE my life. I have things I want to do, books I want to read, crafts I want to learn, needlepoint to finish, a life to live. How much of my day is spent with the TV on? I'm sure I would be appalled to know.

Along those lines, I need to put down my damn phone. I feel like the stupid thing is attached to my hand and I'm constantly checking it for email and Facebook. This made sense when I was among the employed and had to but I'm pretty sure nothing will explode if I don't respond to an email or a Facebook post.

Also and this is big, really big. My kiddo will be in school very soon. Too soon. I spend my days in front of the computer or looking at my phone and I'm with him but not engaged. He plays with his toys, and it's great that he occupies himself so well but I'm just there. I'm not playing with him, or teaching him or encouraging him. In a few short years he will be in Kindergarten and gone most of the day. I need to make the most of this time while I have it.