The way I used to be...

I regularly receive compliments on my hair. My stylist goes into raptures over how lovely the color  is. People will say "you have the prettiest strawberry blonde hair!'. I say thank you then protest "but you should have seen my hair when..." And, as they look at me with confusion and disbelief, I tell them how my hair used to be "flaming, Irish, really, really red".

Because this is how I used to look (yes that's Derek):

And this is how I look now:

 

 

That's quite a difference. That isn't blonde up there on top of my head, it's white. Pure white. The paper white of my Papa's (my grandfather) hair. I used to be a redhead. I mean, I'm still a redhead, but I used to be more of a redhead. It's hard to picture, without a picture. Even with a picture. I miss my hair - it was the defining part of me. It was a very large part of how I was known and how I was recognized. You could always find me in a crowd. Now...I'm...defined in other ways. I'm Jacob's mom. I'm Derek's wife. I'm the Crazy Chicken Lady. Hard to pick those out in a group.

 

I miss my hair. I could dye it, but honestly it never looks the same and what's the point? Just like my laugh lines and smile crinkles, I earned every one of those white hairs.

 

Instead I will learn to, somewhat grudgingly, embrace my increasingly white hair. I will love that I inherited it from my grandfather. I will continue to learn to define myself in other ways. Crazy Chicken Lady is a pretty good start.