Gutting the closet. Again.

Over the past few days I have been pulling things out of my closet that hadn't been cut with my first overhaul. Things I'm now looking at with clearer vision and can see that I will never, ever, wear them again. Some are gifts that I kept out of guilt and some are items that used to look good on me back in the day when I had longer (redder) hair. Some I've kept hoping to fit into them again and some are tied to good memories. And some are cashmere. None of them suit me any more and none of them have been worn in the past year (or longer). It's time they found new homes.

My style seems to be ever evolving and while I have found it very frustrating in the past, I'm getting closer to coming to terms with my changeability. I never was a person who had a 'set' way of dressing. No pearls and twinsets. No biker boots and leather. Nothing that ever defined who I was or what group I was a part of. Life would be a lot easier and I'm positive I'd have spent a lot less money if I did have 'life uniform' to adhere to.

I currently spend most of my time in jeans. With a 3-year old this is not surprising. I have very recently discovered that wearing 'skinny' jeans makes me look thinner while baggy jeans make me look bigger. Huh. So out go the baggy jeans that looked so cute on the model and very mediocre on me. While I do spend my days in jeans, I like to look nice. A bit dressier. A nice top and some good jewelry. I can wear brighter colors now that my hair is going white so I am enjoying tops in turquoise, berry, magenta and orange. Colors I would have had to avoid like the plague when my hair was redder for fear of looking like a clown. Nice shoes too. I like nice shoes. No high heels but pretty flats. Chic boots. Am I forming a wardrobe? One that will see me through the next 5-10 years? I hope so. I really love the idea of a capsule wardrobe where I have a set amount of basic pieces that can mix and match. I just never figured to be my age and STILL figuring out how to dress myself well.

Capsule wardrobe update and shoe musings **now with new and improved update!**

Today I worked on my shoes. Oh boy, my shoes. I used to work at a corporate job that required heels and suits for meetings. I now walk around barefoot or in slippers and I'm a woman in comfortable (yet stylish) shoes when I go out ;)

I spent many years collecting fabulous shoes that I can't walk in now. Carrie from Sex and the City would covet my collection. Yet there they sit in their boxes gathering dust while I go about my happy barefoot homemaker/mommy life. I do not foresee wearing these shoes any time in the near future (even if I could walk in them without breaking an ankle). J's school run will be done by a mom lucky to have all her clothes buttoned much less in fancy shoes. So what to do with them? I've tried selling them with no luck. I don't want to just donate them (there's a lot of capital wrapped up in those silly stilettos) but I also don't want to be looking at them on my shelves every time I open my closet. I think I will box them up and stick them in the loft. Where all our random stuff disappears until we are ready to donate. It's sort of the way station in our lives.

Now why did I buy these shoes in the first place? Seriously. Why? One pair I have never worn and has straps so thin I'm not sure what the heck I was thinking when I did buy them. One pair was worn to a wedding and never worn again. The others were worn at times but never enough to justify their purchase.

I think it was a confluence of things. I didn't really like my job so I shopped (often right after work as a 'pick me up'). The people I worked with all liked/had/talked about/noticed labels. The successful women in my group (there were a few women) all wore expensive designer labels and I bought into the line of 'dress for the job you want'. But mostly buying expensive designer shoes made me feel good. It made me feel sexy and successful. I loved going to Neimans or Saks and trying on the shoes, walking around the shoe department, admiring myself in the mirror. I dreamed of a flashy life where I would actually wear these shoes. Dinners out, theater, galas, trips to exotic places. I mean seriously. I really, really could envision myself wearing these shoes and doing these things. And they did happen, but rarely. Mostly I came home from work exhausted and slightly depressed, showed D the shoes and put them on my closet shelf where there they sat.

I enjoy going out to eat and I do love the theater and all the rest but now when I envision doing those things again some day, I'm wearing shoes I can walk in and I'm introducing my son to these pleasures. It's not about me, it's about him and us as a family. That's so much more fulfilling.

** Update. While J napped, I moved the fancy schmancy shoes into our loft in the garage and pulled out about 6-7 pairs that I haven't worn, won't wear and/or that hurt my feet (why oh why did I ever buy them?!) and I'm giving them to a friend or donating them. I dusted the whole closet, rearranged some things and I feel SO much lighter and freer and happier. Ah what a good cleaning and getting rid of stuff can do for ones soul.**

My first day back into, not reality since vacation is, of course, reality too, but into the swing of things? The groove? Whatever, I'm back. Trying to follow the new schedule of Mondays being our baking/errand running day, walking on the treadmill, trying Pilates, not looking like something the cat dragged in, cooking real food meals, not relying on the TV or computer games to entertain J, crafting something, Me Time, doing some art with J, my god. That's a lot for one day to handle not to mention me.

I did get up on the treadmill for my 30 minutes of walking up a sweat, I did try Pilates and made it though a good portion of the dvd before I gave in to hunger pains and turned it off. Plus trying to do a dvd in my son's play room was...interesting. Between the toys on the floor, the cat and kid who both wanted to cuddle me and not being able to hear the instructions because J was talking to me, I think I did ok. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed turning it off even more. I'll try to finish it up tomorrow and see how long this dvd actually is. I know that my core is weak and this is definitely going to help that. Felt pretty good just putting it in the dvd player actually - something I haven't managed to do for the past 6 months!

I trimmed J's hair today. I've been trimming his hair and the Pippins. J's doesn't save much money (Pips saves $75!) but he hates going to the hairdresser and ducks and dodges so I actually end up giving him a more even cut than she does. I guess I'm getting better? This cut is definitely less of a monk look. My little elf looks adorable no matter what his hair looks like. :) Besides I love cutting hair, D used to (used to) let me cut his hair back in the days when he could wear a baseball cap to work.

I spent the weekend in some truly nasty old sweats and old t-shirts I have. I didn't put on mascara and I didn't even put gel in my hair yesterday. As a result I didn't FaceTime with my brother when he asked knowing that I wouldn't want anyone to see me this way (sorry Drew). Silly? Quite probably.
Would my brother care or notice? Probably not. I cared. Not enough to go put mascara on but I definitely felt less than great. I should probably just donate those sweats, they're a crutch. Ok I'm doing it. Consider them gone! They're the last vestige of not making an effort to look decent.

Today I've baked pretzels, whole wheat bread and made pizza dough for dinner tonight. Pizza will be topped with homemade tomato sauce, provolone, free range pork sausage, and chard from our garden. Eating well and eating real isn't going to be much of a challenge. I love good food. It's skipping the snacks and eating well while out that's going to be hard.

Haven't done art with J yet, but we will as soon as he wakes up from nap. I think we will make a get well card for a friend of his who is in the hospital. I gave away the little table and chairs that we had previously used as his art table - the only place to do art now is at the breakfast room table. I do better without a fall back.

Haven't bought anything today, besides pizza for my friend who is with her daughter in the hospital and that doesn't count. So far my monthly 'Not in The Compact' tally is towels and a puzzle for J. Tomorrow we are running all our errands and I'm going to Target and Michaels. This should be interesting. Fingers crossed I stay strong.

And so it begins. I'm going in the order I wrote in my journal - this is in no way a list of importance.

I would like to create a 'capsule wardrobe'.

This is a term and an idea I first discovered while reading 'Lessons From Madame Chic' by Jennifer Scott (she also has a blog www.thedailyconnoisseur.com). It was a book that was recommended when I bought 'Bringing Up Bebe' and I figured "why not?" and added it to my cart.

At first the idea of having an extremely limited wardrobe was...well it seemed impossible. My closet isn't overflowing and I think I have always been pretty good at getting rid of things that looked worn, didn't suit or that didn't flatter so I didn't really see the benefit. Until I sat in the closet for 30 minutes trying to put together an outfit for a party which I thought looked good until I saw the pictures from the party and...ugh. How much nicer it would have been to just have something I KNEW looked good on me and that I could have slipped on quickly and easily.

This didn't lead me to exactly gut my wardrobe but I did clear out items that I was on the fence about and I'm paring down more weekly. I know I won't get myself down to 10 items but I can probably do 15-20 things that really flatter me. I don't want anything in my closet that doesn't make me feel...good.

I'm a stay at home mom so my days are pretty much playdates, errands and hanging out at home. I'm not going to be wearing silk shirts and pant suits - those days are over for me - but I'm also not going to dress like a schlub. I want casual clothes, ones that fit, that flatter and that make me feel pretty when I put them on. I want to look like I made an effort even if that effort was effortless. There is a lot to be said for looking good - I think it's a sign of respect for yourself and those around you. So that's a goal for this upcoming year - get this so ingrained into me that the idea of throwing on an old t-shirt and sweat pants never even occurs to me. In fact I won't even own an old t-shirt and sweatpants.

Confession time - there a couple of clothing companies that I love, Boden and Indigenous Designs  (Indigenous in particular is wonderful because they're an organic, fair-trade company). While I don't always get the perfect fit, their clothes are pretty and tend to look good on me. They're also not so fancy that I worry about wearing them every day. So, um, knowing that a part of my goals for next year includes The Compact and only buying necessities (which does NOT include new clothes from my favorite companies) I bought clothes from both companies before the end of the year. I used a severely critical eye as to whether or not they will fulfill my desire to only wear flattering clothes and I am pretty sure I succeeded. At least I hope I did. I could have made do with what I had in my closet but...things I had thought looked good on me suddenly just felt meh. I should have been buying quality instead of quantity all these years.

This is, admittedly, a rather simple goal but it's one that will reduce stress and unhappiness in my life and so it's something that I definitely need to work on.